I didn’t know how

This year has certainly been an eyeopener on many levels. Between my high school reunion and my daughter’s wedding I came to realize who I wanted to be. For decades I have been running around with a camera or phone camera in my face. That is apparent by the thousands of photos I have. I was capturing the experiences. To be able to look back on these photos has been a real treasure. Sometimes to recapture the feeling, others times to use in my emails and then there were the moments of proving a point. However I realized after these two events,that I had failed to capture the experience as I wanted to. The bigger part of that in capturing what I did I neglected experiencing the experience. Let me write that out for you a bit differently.

Are you experiencing the experience or capturing the experience?

I ran around taking care of everyone else. There were arrangements to be made around the logistics of getting from A to B, with multiple trips required. There was a lengthy time frame where food need to be considered at some point. My strong desire to be with my daughter the morning of the wedding and getting my hair done there with her. I realized quickly there was no way to be there to do the classic Mother doing up the Bride dress photo. I was sad, however seeing the photos all was as it should be. One of her bridal party assisted. That was a beautiful opportunity for them.

My friends photos started arriving in my in box. All I could think of was this photo or that photo that I personally missed taking. I remember zipping around the room with my tablet in my face. I got videos of a few dances. This is where my realization came into a screeching awareness!!! That was due to a podcast that I heard. The speaker had spoken about capturing the experience versus experiencing the experience. If only I had sat there and enjoyed the moment. But I didn’t know how. I knew how to be a photographer. I knew how to be a grandma to my two little angels at the wedding. I even kept a secret that I wished I had shared with my husband. I was the official at my daughter’s wedding. No one knew this until moments before the wedding started. My husband didn’t though as he was arriving with the bride and walking her up the aisle. Instead of my guy getting to fully enjoy the experience, he may have been wondering what happened to the “real official”. Lol… That is my mind thinking up all kinds of scenarios.

Ideally this will be the one and only wedding of my daughter. I will remember this lesson and use it fully moving forward. In fact I did at the next function I was at. A Christmas Party for the Muskeg Lake Nation. It was wonderful having family around and the conversations. I was okay when I was asked my granddaughter to get her photo on Santa’s knee. As I turned back to look at the table I could see her smiling parents and had to capture the experience.